The longevity of your grappling career necessitates that you aren’t rolling to the death all the time. Everyone in your gym will be happier and able to train more if you focus on rolling technically rather than force on force, murder, death, kill rolls. That’s not necessarily the easiest thing to do when you’re first starting out, especially when you feel like you’re always losing. When you go up against your more experienced training partners you’re probably going to lose anyway though, so rolling more technically saves you from getting roughed up. That’s nice when you still have a day job to go to. My advice is to try rolling more technically and calmly to see if it cuts back on the days you feel like you got hit by a bus.